Note: I have done my share of counselling courses in an effort to have my child returned. I read self improvement books, books on how to make people like me just to try to win over the harpies at DoCS. I tried and I tried to get my child back, but now I know where I failed in my efforts to fight a corrupt and callous cauldron of child stealing c..ts. I didn't have access to this course run by a couple of air heads from Relationships Australia.
Oh how this takes me back to my "Relationships Australia Anger Management" course run by a couple of old gay guys who's angriest experience was when they didn't get a straw with their strawberry thickshake at Wendy's on their weekly fag outing together.
Below is some of the absolute crap we had to sit through during this Relationships Australia Anger Management Class which ran for months and no doubt netted Relationships Australia a sizeable portion of funding, all part of the gravy train which is child protection. Given as gifts was the name of this crap and as you can see there were two whole pages, enough to take up a full night of torture from these two faggots.
One monk carries another monk over a river and all the rest of it. This is because I was angry because my little baby was being abused by his mother and a bunch of man hating lezzos refused to believe it. Angry, yes I was and the last thing I needed was these two weirdos lecturing me on where I was going wrong.
No, perhaps what I was really in need of was 6 weeks of was a sheet of butchers paper, textas, magazines to cut from and other materials such as feathers and glitter to use in creating my representations. This will bless me with "a high level of trust, safety and engagement is necessary."
Let me tell you all right now, those bastards at DoCS kidnapped and murdered my baby. For the last five years since I have had contact with devastated parents daily whose children were stolen for the most ridiculous reasons in the cruelest of ways by a bunch of lying, kaniving, depraved, government endorsed child stealers who take pleasure in ruining families.
Anyway, if you can come up with an idea to make money off this new stolen generation, FACS NSW wants to talk to you.
How do you think you would feel if your children were removed? Angry? Devastated? Despairing?
These are the basic emotions reported by parents attending the Relationships Australia, Hunter ‘Kids in Care’ group. This group, which is run for 18 hours over a 6-week period, is for parents whose children are in the care of the Department of Family and Community Services (NSW).
The expressed emotions may be in contrast to our immediate assumptions that parents who harm or neglect their children love them less or have some malicious intent towards them. These assumptions can compel service providers to focus on addressing abusive behaviour as a priority at the expense of engagement. Our experience of working with this group, however, tells us that if parents are asked to look at their behaviours that have led to their children’s removal, a high level of trust, safety and engagement is necessary.
We understand that life traumas have often intervened in the space between parents’ intentions and actions. We also recognise that some parents, even with the best of intentions and support, may never have the ability to act on these intentions to provide a safe home for their children.
The notion of meeting people at their point of need is fundamental to grief, trauma and narrative theories. Drawing from these theories has allowed us to develop a simple engagement exercise in our group for parents whose children are in care.
Attention is paid in Week 1 to authentic engagement and active group contracting. We then move on to ask parents a simple but deeply challenging question: ‘What have been the hardest things for you about having your child/ren removed?’ Having others bear witness to the pain that these parents are experiencing creates a sense of unity, shared purpose and a path to validation within the group.
In small groups, members are asked to represent what has been hard about having their children removed. Each group is given a sheet of butchers paper, textas, magazines to cut from and other materials such as feathers and glitter to use in creating their representations.
Parents write, draw and create collages of their experience. While doing this they share their experiences through conversation about the challenges they face. Some examples are: ‘Not being able to read my child a story at bedtime’, ‘Not knowing when my child is sick’, ‘I feel like an unworthy dad’, ‘the quiet, no laughing, crying or snoring at night’.
We have found that this exercise gives parents a focus for their anger at Family and Community Services but then invites them to look more closely at the impact removal has had on them. Emotions of grief, shame, and loss are then more readily accessed and expressed.
Participants often report that this is the first time anyone has asked them about their experience. From this shared experience the work of the group can begin. Key areas addressed for the remainder of the group are: emotional regulation, communication skills, assertive styles of relating managing and identifying strengths and values.
For further information contact: Christina Battle or Janine Bendit at Relationships Australia, Hunter Region on 02 4940 1500.
aifs.govspace.gov.au